


Out Loud

by atroversiaamo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21654169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atroversiaamo/pseuds/atroversiaamo
Summary: Set in season 5, Sam comes back and Lena actually has someone on her side apart from Kara that's trying to bridge the gap. I haven't seen any episodes of the latest season so there might be some inconsistencies, I'm only up to date through Tumblr. (':P.S. Haven't written anything in forever, of any sort. Please be kind, and also there's probably grammatical errors everywhere, bear with me I just needed to get this out at like 2 in the morning.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha "Sam" Arias & Lena Luthor
Comments: 17
Kudos: 106





	Out Loud

Sam couldn't place her finger on it, but she was absolutely sure something has shifted in Lena. The calls have been few and far in between. Always business, and in the instances when it wasn't, it was always about her updating Lena on Metropolis. On her life, on Ruby. The last time Sam had a catch up with Alex, everything seemed to be fine. Alex was happy, dating again and Kara seemed just as content.

But Sam just couldn't place it. Something was off. So despite the harsh memories and having to leave Ruby in Metropolis due to school, she had decided. This weekend she was gonna figure out what was up with the woman she considered family, Ruby's god mother, the woman who believed that a single mom could most definitely act as the CFO of a fortune 500 company. 

The plane landed quite late in the evening. But knowing Lena, Sam made a call to her assistant to make sure that Lena had gone home for the day before heading straight to her apartment. Crashing at Lena would be best, better for catching up, and well. Lena wouldn't turn her away.

Upon entering the building, the security guy, Tom, looked at her quizically. Sam gave him a conspiratorial smile as she wheeled her hand luggage,

"I'm here to surprise Lena," at which Tom smiled, and let her through the elevators, Sam being one of the very few people Ms. Luthor has had in her home. With the late nights his boss had been having, Tom's glad the CFO is in town.

Despite the late hour, Sam buzzed as the elevator took her to the penthouse, excited to hug Lena and tell her all about the crazy science experiments Ruby had been doing lately. It seems Ruby's more keen to grow up into Lena than Sam herself, and honestly, in Sam's eyes, there's no better model anyway. Better a scientist, than a caped hero always in visible danger. And even then, better a caped hero that has a background in science.

At first, Lena wasn't quite sure if there was an actual ring. Then her phone rang again, she turned, a bit dizzy from her third glass of Jameson, or was it fifth now? Irish whiskey was just that good, she certainly did not over drink. Upon locating her phone on the kitchen counter, she was met with Ruby and Sam's face. Lena took a deep breath, before answering in an effort to sound as sober as possible.

"Sam-",  
"Open the door," came the reply, all bubbly and excited. Lena froze and slowly turned towards the door. And then eyed the bottles of Jameson, her heart beating so fast - she cannot let Sam see her like this. Lena suppresses a groan - why is she even here. The sudden irritation surprised her, immediately feeling terrible for it. 

"Just give me a sec, ", Lena quickly collected the bottles, gulped the rest of her drink, the burning sensation setting her ablaze as she opened the dishwasher to get rid of the evidence.

Once the door opened, Lena was in Sam's arms. Lena stiffened for a second, before melting into the embrace, feeling at peace for the first time since Lex's death. Contrition weaving it's way into her as she realized just how distanced she'd been with Sam. Having been so focused on Kara that she'd neglected the one friend that has never let her down. Before she knew it, her eyes were misting, and she was holding a little to tight, a tad too long, and damn, Lena fucked up. Sam definitely knows something's up now.

Sam pulled back and looked at Lena, expecting happy tears. Lena wouldn't meet her eyes. 

"Lena -",  
"I can't Sam, " broken sobs filtered out into the dim penthouse, as Lena clutched onto Sam, desperately. Enough that had she been human, the pain might very well be unbearable. 

"Okay, okay, shh, you don't have to," Sam cooed, bringing Lena down to the couch, holding her close, the scent of whiskey now unmistakable in the CEO's breath. Lena felt so small, and somehow, liberated. After what might have been 30 mins to an hour, Lena isn't really sure, she turned to Sam,

"I, its, Kara, Kara, she,", Lex had always praised Lena's eloquence, if he could hear her now. She'll never hear his voice again. The part of her that held onto the fond memories of her brother rebelled, shouting and shouting for Kara to hurt. 

Sam pulled her in,   
"Its okay, you can tell me tomorrow," she murmured, tightening her hold. After a couple of beats, Sam decided that the bed would be much more comfortable than the sofa, Lena needed rest. 

Sam pulled Lena up with her and led her to the bedroom, tucking her in. As she was about to leave the room, Lena called out,   
"Sam," her hand reaching for the CFO.

"I'm just going to change, I'll be right back,"

Dressed for bed, Sam slipped into the bed. Lena curled into her immediately, and a part of Sam broke as she held her best friend, family, in her arms. Despite not knowing the full story, Sam fell asleep questioning the rightness of her decision to leave National City.

-

Sam awoke with a start, the sound of coughing coming from the adjacent toilet. The unmistakable sound of Lena throwing up pulled her up on her feet right away, heading to the sound, where Lena was hunched over the toilet bowl. 

It's a sight Sam could not have conjured up, diverted too far from the reality that was Lena. Her heart ached, as she held Lena's hair back, and rubbed her back. She was going to punch Kara. At this point, Sam decided she might even add a little more than human strength into the punch. 

After cleaning Lena up, and hydrating her with a generous amount of water, at which Lena grumbled, "This is too much," by which Sam replied, "Its not nearly enough,", the two found themselves back in bed.

The clock read six, and the two leaned back against the headboard, watching the sun rise over National City. The silence was comfortable, peaceful even. 

"Kara is Supergirl." 

It took Sam a moment. She turned towards Lena, who was looking out into the city with a defeated look, with dark circles under her puffy and bloodshot eyes. 

Sam opened her mouth to say something. Anything, she felt like she was reaching and reaching and reaching, and no words would come. 

"I can't believe I didn't see it,"  
"Imagine how I feel," came Lena's reply, refusing to turn towards Sam. 

Sam took a moment to center herself, and returned her gaze towards the city, she can be shocked and angry later. Lena needs to be heard.

"Tell me everything." 

And Lena did. Starting from Lex's death to her plan with Myriad. Somehow once she'd started she just couldn't stop. It felt like an out of body experience, watching herself spill and spill and spill until there was nothing left. A part of her hated herself for it, how weak it was, how desperate, a stark reminder of Eve, void of emotion almost nonchalantly saying that she wasn't her friend. Which of course, she wasn't, but Sam wasn't Eve. 

Sam listened, feeling every hurt, every ounce of betrayal, her view of Alex and Kara tarnished forever. God, what is she going to tell Ruby when she inevitably asks about the Danver sisters. 

"You understand, you can't go through with it.", it wasn't a question, and they both knew it.

Lena turned to Sam, taken with the soft hues of the sun reflecting against her hazel eyes,   
"I do now.",  
At that, Sam pulled her close, and held tight, wanting to apologize for the way life had treated her at every corner, feeling altogether angry and forlorn.

-

The weekend came and went, Lena dismantled her plans for Myriad with Sam by her side. In the end, Lena knew she should've seen the plea coming. On Sunday evening, just before her and Sam were to head to the DEO to give up everything related to Myriad to prevent it from landing into the wrong hands, Sam sat her down.

It started off as an idea, why doesn't she come back to Metropolis? Run L-Crop from there, with Sam. She could see Ruby more, heck they could even run all the experiments they could think of, so long as it wasn't in the house. Sam had to set limits after all. But why not, it could work.

It started off as an idea. By the end of it, Sam was desperate to get Lena back in Metropolis, to start a fresh. Lena deserved better than to live in a city where at every corner she has memories with the people that betrayed her, better than to live in a city that hailed Kara as their hero. Sam is of the adamant belief that her hero, deserved better. Lena was undecided.

-

With Sam by her side, the DEO let them in with civility. They were met by Brainy, Alex, and Kara in her Supergirl regalia. Alex was the first to react to seeing Sam,

"Sam! what are you doing here?,"   
"We're here to drop off things for Myriad,"  
"You mean?", Kara abruptly asked, her voice laced with optimism,

"I didn't do it for you." Lena interjected, voice devoid of emotion, as she turned towards Brainy,

"Come," Lena motioned for Brainy to follow her, set on explaining everything related to Myriad to him.

Suddenly Alex understood exactly what happened. Sam had flown in from Metropolis, she was worried about Lena the last time they'd talked. Lena must've broken down and told her everything. She'd be lying if she said the thought didn't cross her mind, to call Sam and have her talk to Lena. But the hopeful part of her thought that maybe it wouldn't come to that, that maybe, they didn't need to lose Sam too. 

Kara made a move to follow Lena and Brainy who'd moved into an adjacent room, but Sam intercepted her before she could come any closer. Kara turned to Sam, eyes misty, looking terribly tired for a superhero.

"Sam please, let me explain," Kara pleaded, not wanting to push, knowing full well that Sam would not hesitate to actually use her strength.

"I know enough,"

"No you don't,", Alex cuts in, voice strained.

At that, Sam lost it.

"I don't?! Really, I don't!? Go on then Alex, tell me. Tell me how the two people that made me feel okay with leaving my best friend in National City betrayed her outright."

"She'd been lying the last couple of months! She knew that Kara was Supergirl and she didn't say anything, and all this thing with Myriad. Sam -," Alex pleaded, even as her own reasoning made her insides turn. 

Sam scoffed, affronted by the response, turning towards Kara as if to ask, is this really your sister. Kara lowered her gaze, not finding it in her to defend Alex, not even wanting to.

"You guys had lied to her. For years. And I get it, she's a Luthor. Suspicion was warranted. But hasn't she proved herself to all of you here, to this entire city, how very far she is from her family?!,"

Sam paused, collecting her thoughts. She needs to get this out.

"She moved here, wanting to do good. She left the city she grew up in, the man she loved, just so she could do good. To be the Luthor that shared her home with a Super. And she has done so much already,"

Sam turned to Kara, who was shaking, tears streaming down her face, Supergirl looking the most fragile Sam had ever seen her. More fragile and broken than being bloodied and bruised.

"From Jack, to killing Lex. I don't know Kara, I just I don't know how you could,"

"I was scared, more afraid than I have ever been my entire life. I don't, I didn't know about Lex-" 

"Lex would not have been a factor had you told Lena sooner." Sam cut sharply.

"She told her eventually," Alex reasoned weakly.

"Eventually. What three, four years into their friendship? Tell me Alex, did she wait that long for any of her other "Super friends"? Or was Lena granted an exemption due to her illustrious Luthor status?"

Sam turned sharply to Kara, "That's what it was wasn't it? Her Luthor status? Made you doubt her, even though by then she'd proven herself trustworthy. You made the man she was seeing spy on her. That should've been the time. You should've confronted her, told her the truth. Admitted that you had made a mistake."

"You're right." Kara says, turning to Alex, entreating her with a look to stop, to just please stop.

"It doesn't change the fact that her intention with Myriad is wrong.", Alex defiantly responded.

Sam sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She had never been more frustrated with Alex.

"When I decided to leave National City, Lena was a big factor. She was the reason I moved all the way from Metroplis, why I uprooted my daughter's life. The thing is, Lena saved me even before the incident with Reign. The reason I let her help me, the reason I trusted her even when I understood that doing so might put her in bad standing with Supergirl was because there was precedence.",

Sam paused, "She had always been my hero. Long before the incident with Reign. She wants to help. Do good, Myriad would take away peoples' pain. Even I can understand how that could be good, and no one has betrayed me like you guys did to Lena."

Sam turned to Kara and Alex, assuring herself that they were listening. This wasn't easy for her, after all. Sam continued,

"I'm a single mom holding a very powerful position at one of the most successful corporations in the world. Frankly, I don't think I deserve it,

"Sam," Alex softly interjected, her tone one of disapproval.

"No really. There are many more qualified than me. But Lena, she saw something in me, she trusted me. I didn't realise how hard that was for her. So when I decided to leave National City, I wanted to be sure that both of you understood. It seemed like it. Kara, you say that she's your best friend."

Kara visibly shrunk, guilt eating away at her, barely keeping her head up, eyes glazed. It seemed even a slight bump would bring her down.

Sam took a deep breath, her throat dry and aching.

"A part of me was jealous you know, Lena and I were never quite so flagrant with our friendship, I felt replaced in a way,"

Sam steeled herself before continuing, 

"But then, as I watched more closely, things shifted, suddenly it wasn't the same. The way you looked at her Kara. You lingered, it struck me. Kara's in love with Lena -"

Alex gasped, Sam turned to her, watching as her expression shifted from shock, to denial, and then to a pained comprehension and acceptance. A part of Sam wanted to roll her eyes at Alex, under different circumstances that would definitely have been funny.

"So you understand, why I was so afraid?", Kara questioned softly.

"Yes. I do. And unfortunately, I thought that your love for her would keep her safe. I left the city, thinking that someone who loved her so much would never deign to betray her. "

"Where does this leave us?" Kara found herself asking, feeling for the first time, since Lena revealed her anger that maybe, there was no going back. Hearing and admitting the depth of her feelings for Lena out loud made it seem impossible. 

"I don't know," Sam replied softly, allowing herself to feel sympathy for Kara's pain,  
"I've asked her to return home to Metropolis. Away from all of this." Away from you, went unsaid.

The sound of Lena's heels turned their attention to the door, Sam quickly wiped away her tears, not wanting to worry Lena.  
"Ready?" Sam asked Lena, turning to her to try and block the woman's view of Kara. 

Lena nodded, and they walked out the DEO without turning back. Neither Kara nor Alex making any attempt to stop them.


End file.
